The 'Stonewalls Project' is a programme aimed at children who have experienced the loss of one (or both) parent through separation, divorce or death. Often these children feel that they have hit a 'stonewall' in their lives and they cannot see a way forward from, or beyond this place. There are often associated changes of character and behaviour which affects their ability to relate to others, their concentration and their progress in school.

The programme helps the children to understand that they are not alone in their experiences. It helps them to express their feelings and to know that it is OK to feel angry, anxious, sad and confused. It also aims to address the issue of false guilt that these children often carry because they imagine that in some way they were responsible for what happened, 'If only I had been better behaved then..........' The Stonewalls Project uses a range of techniques to help children :-

• Develop self-expression
• Learn appropriate ways of expressing anger and other emotions
• Reach a better understanding of divorce
• Recognise their own uniqueness and self-worth

The programme consists of five one hour sessions (open to some negotiation to fit in with the schools' preference). These sessions can be offered during school-time, lunch-times or after-school to suit each schools preference and needs. Each child is given an age-appropriate workbook to complete. He/she is invited to draw pictures, write poems or letters etc. Each child has the right to keep any or all of their work confidential.
In addition, those on the programme are encouraged to participate in games, stories and discussions.

An additional session aimed at parents can also be offered. It tries helping them to communicate, support and interact with their children to help them through these difficult times.

Most benefit will be gained from working with groups of 3-6 children at Key Stages 2 and 3. At Key Stage 4 group work or one to one are options to be considered.

This programme has been developed on behalf of the Manna House Counselling Service by an experienced counsellor who has 21+ years experience as a teacher ranging from Key Stage 2 to A-level. All staff involved in running the course are experienced counsellors and are CRB checked. Similar courses have been available in the U.S.A and Canada for a number of years and have been run to good effect. In some states the courses have become compulsory and no divorce would be granted by the courts unless children have completed the programme

"While there are a number of...counselling services, few of these offer a specific service to children and young people who are finding it difficult to come to terms with the loss of a parent through separation or death. These children and young people are generally displaying varying degrees of disaffection, expressed through lack of motivation, under achievement, poor school attendance and behaviour likely to lead to exclusion." This quote is from a Senior Educational Welfare Officer with a total of eighteen years experience in both urban and rural schools.

The Manna House Counselling Service is a well established counselling organisation, which opened in 1985 serving the needs of Northampton and the surrounding area. Many of its clients are referred by professionals such as GP's and mental health agencies. The organisation also offers a variety of counsellor oriented training courses both locally and around the country. These courses are run at a variety of levels and are recognised within the FEFC system and run in partnership with Henley College, Coventry.
The advantages of buying into this programme are :-

• Using the expertise of trained and experienced counsellors who are subject to regular supervision.
• A school can buy into the service as and when it needs to.
• Guaranteed confidentiality.
• Some children (and parents) may be more likely to work with external counsellors because they are not seen as part of the 'establishment'.
• At the end of the programme children who benefit from the sessions should demonstrate better relationship skills, better concentration and behaviour in classes and therefore make better progress and feel happier about every aspect of school life.

The Senior EWO went on to state, "As a result of my experience in the field of educational welfare, I believe that such a project would be beneficial. I would therefore, welcome a service that provides specific support to children, within the school setting."

It is the aim of the Manna House to offer its counselling services at minimum cost to the consumer. Every attempt will be made to seek external sources of funding to cover some or all the costs of the "Stonewalls" programme. Where external funding is unavailable or insufficient to meet demand, a financial contribution to cover the cost of the six sessions will need to be agreed with the school. This might come out of the school budget or parents' contribution or a combination of both.

We are always willing to consider possible options, so please do not hesitate to contact us to discuss your particular situation and needs.